Way back in 1969, a really smart, sensitive, shrinky-type doctor, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross came up with 5 stages of grief. I know this because I learned it in college. A couple of times. And somehow it escaped the brain-purge of motherhood. It came back to me when Pumpkin Pie was getting dressed yesterday. He has a favorite Spiderman shirt. Actually it is an UNDER shirt, but Spidey is his best and favorite. Pumpkin Pie loves this shirt. I mean really loves this shirt, like in a pathological way. We actually had to come up with rules about this Spiderman shirt. Pretty basic stuff.
- If you sleep in it when it’s clean, it is okay to wear it the next day.
- If you wear it during the day you can’t sleep in it that night.
- If you wore it yesterday, you can’t wear it again until it has been washed and pretending it’s been washed doesn’t count.
- It is an under shirt so
in places where we care what people thinkat school you can only wear it under another shirt.
Yesterday, Spidey was NOT clean and I was prepared for our usual dance when a lightbulb went on. I wonder if this is what Dr. Kubler-Ross had in mind…
Stage 1 Shock/Denial:
Pumpkin Pie: Mom, (proudly wearing crumpled, ice cream-stained Spidey shirt he dug out of the dirty laundry) I am wearing my clean Spiderman shirt today.
Me: sorry, kid. You wore it yesterday, take it off and put it in the dirty laundry, please.
Pumpkin Pie: No I didn’t.
Me: Yup. You did and I think you know that.
Stage 2 Anger:
Pumpkin Pie: I DID NOT!!! I DID NOT!!! (Yelling to the heavens, arms outstretched) WRRRAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Stage 3 Depression/Detachment:
Stomping up the stairs crying. Pouts alone in his room for a while then takes off the shirt.
Stage 4 Dialog/Bargaining:
Pumpkin Pie: Mom, you could wash it now and I could wear it in a little bit.
Me: It might be ready for bed tonight, how about that?
Stage 5 Acceptance:
Pumpkin Pie: Okay. Then I’ll wear it tomorrow!!
So did I mention that the Spiderman Halloween costume arrived in the mail today? Obviously I’m a glutton for punishment. And grief.