I Want My Money Back: A List

When you have kids, there is so much money that flies out of the house it is ridiculous.  A lot of it is wasted on toys that they only play with once or stuff that gets broken immediately, or furniture that they go at with a Sharpee.   (See this website if want a little of that special type of schadenfreude.) Frustrating?  Yes.  Infuriating?  Often.  But it is in kids’ job description to do that stupid stuff.  However, here is a list of stuff I want to be reimbursed for because it is so effing stupid that I can’t stand it.

1. Printer Ink: I want Our Town’s middle school to buy me a new printer ink cartridge to replace the one I just used up printing TWENTY NINE tiny pictures of Napoleon and a Penny-Farthing bicycle for Sweet Pea’s French comic strip project.  I will collect this money from Sweet Pea himself if it turns out the pictures were not actually a necessary part of the project.  This is a distinct possibility.

This bike is actually where the expression "take a header" came from. As in, "Give me back my printer ink or you will 'take a header' when I knock you off your stupid little bike".

Thanks for nothing you short little control freak. And nice pants, btw.









2. My money for a trip to Hershey Park for the Jazz Band. You remember the Jazz Band incident, don’t you? The band teacher let Sweet Pea into the Jazz band after he did NOT prepare for the audition then acted all surprised when he didn’t pay attention, fell behind and seemed like he may stink up the Jazz Band.  Band Teacher let me know last week that Sweet Pea may not be able to continue with the Jazz Band in the Spring.  I am fine with that, I want instrumental music to be a fun experience for him, not stressful.

However, the money for the June trip to Hershey Park is due Jan 21st and, get this, if your kid is asked to leave the Jazz Band after the money for the trip is paid, you do NOT get a refund.  Whuck?  Band Teacher could not be reached for comment.

They forgot to mention that you have to use the secret handshake to get the full discount. And this is magnified 50x the printed size.


3.  Coupons for the dog food store. Okay, Doodle is not an actual kid, but roll with it.  It takes Doodle Dog about a month to go through a giant-sized bag of dog food.  He has a sensitive tummy and this food is the best food to keep him from getting the sh**s.  To put it delicately.  Well worth the money as you can imagine.  The dog food store kindly spreads 20% off coupons over the email like glitter in my van after preschool art project day.  But, they always getcha and here’s how they getcha:  the coupons are only good for something like 45 minutes!  Stop in between 3:31 pm and 4:17pm tomorrow to take advantage of this stupendous offer!

They start sending coupons out the day after I buy dog food and stop for a week right when I realize Doodle is about to starve.  Because I am pathalogically worried about running out of ink for the printer (see #1) when I print the coupons, I do it at 50% of the size the are supposed to be.  Last time I sent Husband out on an icy, frigid Sunday night 15 minutes before the store closed with the postage stamp-sized coupon clutched in his frozen fingers to buy the food that keeps Doodle Dog from ruining our carpets only to find out that the stoopid food was on sale for 20% off anyway and he couldn’t use the coupon.  Jackholes.  I want my other 20% back.  I WANT TO USE THAT TEENY TINY COUPON!!

I would LOVE to hear about the ridiculous stuff you would like a refund for. (Bad grammar, sorry).  Please, tell me I am not alone in my pathological freak-out!

About Adventures From Cloud 8

I am a stay at home mom who now and again sneaks away to be an in-home family therapist. My husband and I have 3 boys: Sweet Pea (12), Pickles (9) and Pumpkin Pie (4). Oh yeah. We have Doodle Dog, too. You guessed it! He’s a boy. At least he pees outside.
This entry was posted in coupons, Family Dogs, Funny Parenting Blog, kid in jazz band, Parenting Boys, running out of printer ink, Sweet Pea, Trombone and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to I Want My Money Back: A List

  1. Faith says:

    I reset the pacifier section at work last night. I had NO IDEA how many different kinds of pacifiers there were. And some of them are expensive! $5.99 is a lot to pay for something your kid is going to put in its mouth and then drop into the sofa.

  2. $5.99 is also a lot to pay for something the dog is going to chew up. Oh, and you don’t buy ONE Binky, you buy 10 different kinds to see what will stop the child’s screaming. When you find *the one*, you buy 15 of those and stash them all over the house. When we cleaned out our broken van, I found Pumpkin Pie’s “Emergency Binky” in the glove box. It was kinda sad to throw it away, actually.

  3. christy says:

    Clothing below size 6 months. Neither of my kids ever wore newborn clothing, nor did they wear 0-3 months. They went straight from the womb to size 6-9 months – and they weren’t enormous – around 8lbs each.

    • Sweet Pea was a premie, so he was in newborn clothes FOREVER! The other two were 8lbs + and could barely squeeze into them. Pumpkin Pie, especially was such a fat baby! All three of mine seemed to blow through 6-9 month clothes for some reason. Those were all my best hand-me-downs. My nephew was a very well dressed baby.

  4. Nannette says:

    helpful comment: stay on the look out for a laser printer, the ink last forever I got a Brother HL 2140 for under $75 and love it.

  5. Pingback: Phenomenon: A List of a Few Terms | Adventures From Cloud 8

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