There seems to be some confusion lately on Cloud 8 and I feel the need to take a moment to clarify a few things in the form of an open letter to the shorties.
1. If I am not in the same room as you and you want to tell me something, you will have to get up and walk to the room where I am in order to talk with me. Conversely, if you hear me calling your name from somewhere in the house, it also means you have to come to the room where I am because I need to yell at you for something. You have to come to me for the simple reason that you have more free time than I do. If this ever changes, you will be notified.
2. It is expected that you change your underwear every day or so. Please. It freaks me out when I wash a week’s worth of your laundry and find 10 pairs of socks and 1 pair of underwear. Nasty.
3. If I ask you if you did a particular school assignment and you tell me that you did because you really really really wish that you did, it still counts as lying and you will have your tv time taken away. Please don’t act surprised, you are embarrassing yourself.
5. Pumpkin Pie believes that the warnings on the shopping carts say that it is the law that children have to ride in the shopping cart until they are 5. If you tell him otherwise, you have to do all the grocery shopping with him until the end of time.
6. If you want to know where something is, look for it. After you have performed an exhaustive search, you may then look in the closet, under your bed, in your backpack, in your brother’s backpack, in the garage, in the van, behind the couch and by my side of the bed before you ask me.
7. I have no idea where your shoes are.
8. Please get your dirty socks out from behind the couch, it’s gross.
9. No, I will NOT buy any more Nerf guns. They turn you all into soul-less monsters who go from kind brothers to Lord of the Flies in 15 seconds.
10. Of course I’ll read to you tonight! Go get the book and get snuggly in bed. I’ll be right there.