Here at Cloud 8, it is a year of change. This year the boys turn 5, 10, and 13. Sweet Pea will be a teenager, Pickles has hit the double digits, and Pumpkin Pie will start kindergarten at the big kid school. I know, it makes my head spin. I, too, have hit a milestone. After 13 years of on-again off-again part-time three-six hours a week employment, I got a *real* job! Okay, it’s still only part-time, but 20 hours a week is way more than the zero I have been doing since December. (The state, in all its budget-minded wisdom, stopped paying for most of the in-home therapy I had been doing with really needy, significantly dysfunctional families.)
Oh crap.
Pumpkin Pie and I were in the Ninja Van on our way home from some grocery store or another and I was on the phone leaving a message for my dad telling him I got the job.
Me (to my Dad’s voice mail): So I got the job! Yay! I am excited. And terrified. Yeah, mostly terrified. Talk to you later, bye.
Pumpkin Pie: Mom. Why are you terrified?
Me: Oh, buddy. I’m not really that scared. You know I am starting a new job right after you guys go back to school?
Pumpkin Pie: Yeah.
Me: Well, starting something new like this can be scary. Exciting and awesome, but a little intimidating. You and I are both doing something new this year. You know, like how you’re starting kindergarten in the fall. How are you feeling about that?
This is about the only kind of change Pumpkin Pie could get excited about.
Pumpkin Pie: Terrified.
Me: Maybe excited, too?
Pumpkin Pie: No. Just terrified.
Here at Cloud 8, we fear change.
highschool college graduation getting married having your children and now i have one more to add to the list Leaving Microsoft. I turned in my blue badge AMEX card parking pass and laptop. I felt naked. It was very surreal. I was grinning the whole time though and I had to stop myself for concern of others who thought I might be gloating. I felt such liberation as I walked through the halls one last time saying goodbye to my fellow colleagues. I cant believe Im actually done. .So for the next couple of months I want and need to get my bearings back. I feel like Ive just finished a very satisfying but grueling long workout. And I just need some time now for my muscles to heal and re-energize. Of course Ive quit my job to focus more on my children but I also need to focus on myself for a change as well. I want a daily routine of calmness for a while. My girls are growing up so quickly and this age is so precious. They need me in new and differnt ways now both emotionally and intellectually. And I want and need to be there for them..So the decision has been made. I feel incredibly free right now and Im so excited for what is a significant change in my familys lives. Im terrified yes but happy………
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