Here at Cloud 8, it is a year of change. This year the boys turn 5, 10, and 13. Sweet Pea will be a teenager, Pickles has hit the double digits, and Pumpkin Pie will start kindergarten at the big kid school. I know, it makes my head spin. I, too, have hit a milestone. After 13 years of on-again off-again part-time three-six hours a week employment, I got a *real* job! Okay, it’s still only part-time, but 20 hours a week is way more than the zero I have been doing since December. (The state, in all its budget-minded wisdom, stopped paying for most of the in-home therapy I had been doing with really needy, significantly dysfunctional families.)
Pumpkin Pie and I were in the Ninja Van on our way home from some grocery store or another and I was on the phone leaving a message for my dad telling him I got the job.
Me (to my Dad’s voice mail): So I got the job! Yay! I am excited. And terrified. Yeah, mostly terrified. Talk to you later, bye.
Pumpkin Pie: Mom. Why are you terrified?
Me: Oh, buddy. I’m not really that scared. You know I am starting a new job right after you guys go back to school?
Pumpkin Pie: Yeah.
Me: Well, starting something new like this can be scary. Exciting and awesome, but a little intimidating. You and I are both doing something new this year. You know, like how you’re starting kindergarten in the fall. How are you feeling about that?
Pumpkin Pie: Terrified.
Me: Maybe excited, too?
Pumpkin Pie: No. Just terrified.
Here at Cloud 8, we fear change.
highschool college graduation getting married having your children and now i have one more to add to the list Leaving Microsoft. I turned in my blue badge AMEX card parking pass and laptop. I felt naked. It was very surreal. I was grinning the whole time though and I had to stop myself for concern of others who thought I might be gloating. I felt such liberation as I walked through the halls one last time saying goodbye to my fellow colleagues. I cant believe Im actually done. .So for the next couple of months I want and need to get my bearings back. I feel like Ive just finished a very satisfying but grueling long workout. And I just need some time now for my muscles to heal and re-energize. Of course Ive quit my job to focus more on my children but I also need to focus on myself for a change as well. I want a daily routine of calmness for a while. My girls are growing up so quickly and this age is so precious. They need me in new and differnt ways now both emotionally and intellectually. And I want and need to be there for them..So the decision has been made. I feel incredibly free right now and Im so excited for what is a significant change in my familys lives. Im terrified yes but happy………
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