Things About Summer That Displease Me: A List

Summer’s here.  (sarcasm font on) Awesome (sarcasm font off).

School's closed for the summer. What a great idea.

If you know me, you know that while I try to put on a brave face (okay, not really) I don’t really like summer that much.  I do a LOT of bit**ing about it.  Here’s why:

You get to sleep late.  NOT!  So far this summer (today is day 6) one of the children has been up by 6:45 at the latest.  Why on EARTH will you people not sleep?  I have to get myself up to wake you during the school year but once you have sung no more pencils, no more looks, no more teachers dirty looks suddenly you are all farmers!  It doesn’t help that Pickles has to be at swim practice at 7:45.

No more schoolwork!  Maybe for you, but evidently the 5th grade committee has to start planning now for the yearbook/pool party/yearbook signing/class trip/bowling/car washes/kidney donation fundraiser.  Oh yeah, I got drunk and volunteered to be a co-chair on said 5th grade committee.  Possibly a strategic error.

All that free time. In 25 minute increments, of course.  This Tuesday’s schedule:

Maybe with all my free time this summer, I can play a video game about free time because that isn't stupid at all.

7:35:  Pickles leaves for swimming

8:30:  Sweet Pea leaves for diving

9:00: drop Pumpkin Pie off at “Morning Fun” and hope he will stay.

9:40:  Pickles and Sweet Pea come home from swimming/diving.

9:45:  Feed Pickles who just swam 83,000 laps.

10:10:  Take Pickles and Sweet Pea to Summer Band

10:40:  Procure groceries

11:45:  Pick up Pumpkin Pie from “Summer Fun” and hope it was actually sort of fun.

12:30:  Pick up Sweet Pea and Pickles from Summer Band.

12:50:  Feed Pickles and Pumpkin Pie lunch (Sweet Pea does not eat lunch, it’s just his way.)

1:30  Hope I can collapse for a half hour before the Water Wars starts up again.

The pool.  Now that Pumpkin Pie can swim (in the shallow end) I can take my eyes off him for a minute to read/chat/inspect my eyelids for cracks.  It is a lovely new freedom I was planning on enjoying this summer.  However, now Sweet Pea and Pickles don’t want to go to the pool.  At all.  So I can sit at the pool with Pumpkin Pie as long as I like, worrying about what sort of trouble the Big Brothers are getting into at home.  Ugh.

Getting closer to nature.  Sunshine and tweeting birdies and fireflys, right?  How about sunburn, tweeting birdies AT 4:30am, and mosquitoes from hell all over our back yard.  That’s more like it.  Since I discovered this scary sunscreen info, I am all twitchy about what sunscreen to use, so I think I’ll only let the brothers go out after sunset anyway.  Except that’s when the mosquitoes come out.  Bring on the Off!  except bug sprays have their own nasty issues.  Crap. Okay, we will enjoy mother nature at night, fully clothed for 15 minutes before we have to go to bed so we can all get up with the tweety birds at 0-dark 30.  Awesome.  Wake me when it’s time for vacation.

About Adventures From Cloud 8

I am a stay at home mom who now and again sneaks away to be an in-home family therapist. My husband and I have 3 boys: Sweet Pea (12), Pickles (9) and Pumpkin Pie (4). Oh yeah. We have Doodle Dog, too. You guessed it! He’s a boy. At least he pees outside.
This entry was posted in Funny Parenting Blog, summer with kids and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Things About Summer That Displease Me: A List

  1. Joan says:

    Yikes, this brings back some not so fun summer memories. You will read again uninterrupted, I promise. Summer can be hell. You will never stop worrying, sorry.

  2. Pingback: Things About Summer I Actually Love: A List | Adventures From Cloud 8

  3. business says:

    Our soon-to-be nephew James is still talking about them..Less than two weeks later I stood in the middle of a field watching walk among their friends and family in summer-blue light. And this summer Im finally going to try pickling apricots which I have been thinking about for three years.

  4. Pingback: Why I Am Glad it is Fall: A (Short) List. | Adventures From Cloud 8

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