Parking Manners for Grownups

A while back, we talked about manners for kids.  This summer I have been faced with numerous opportunities to think about parking manners for asshats grownups.  In the interest of me not *accidently* keying your car everyone’s sanity, I have compiled a list:

Just sayin'.

It may be more convenient for you to make your own parking place in the middle of the cross walk while the rest of us are waiting in line at drop off/pick up for (insert the name of child’s activity), but tough noogies.  All of us are in the same boat.  You and the child in your car are not more important than the rest of us, despite what you may think.  Unless you have some sort of disability, hungry newborn in the car, or a wild animal chasing you, this is asshat behavior so knock it off.

I understand that it’s hot out.  It is actually the same temperature for the rest of us that it is for you.  So, mother in the silver minivan, when you drive across the playground at the school to be closer to the door to drop your kid off at Morning Fun while the rest of us are walking across it from the parking lot, you are being an asshat.

That's right, middle-aged sleeveless t-shirt guy in the blue pickup. This is what happens when you park in the spot for shoppers with little kids.

I realize that you are in a hurry.  But unless you are going to Wegman’s to buy water to put out your hair that is on fire, you had better not park in the “parent with young child” parking spots.  I am serious.  You would never EVER do that if you had been in the unenviable position of having to grocery shop with a baby or young child.  It sucks and those close parking spots are the only thing standing between those young children having food and having to eat food-colored crayons, so back the eff off.  I propose that any child-less shopper who parks there be forced to complete their shopping trip with a large, angry toucan who knows swear words and a live, ravenous octopus strapped to their chest in a baby bjorn.  So there.

Now that I have cleared all that up, happy parking, people.

(Image Credits:  Asshat hat available at cafepress here, Octopus sign from an extremely funny blog you should check out here.)

About Adventures From Cloud 8

I am a stay at home mom who now and again sneaks away to be an in-home family therapist. My husband and I have 3 boys: Sweet Pea (12), Pickles (9) and Pumpkin Pie (4). Oh yeah. We have Doodle Dog, too. You guessed it! He’s a boy. At least he pees outside.
This entry was posted in bad parking, Funny Parenting Blog, manners, shopping with children and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Parking Manners for Grownups

  1. I propose that any child-less shopper who parks in those spots be forced to complete their shopping trip with several whiny children and have to use one of those giant truck shopping carts…

  2. kris says:

    as usual, you made me laugh. I agree with everything you just said and specifically the way you said it.

  3. Erin says:

    I started taking advantage of the parking spaces for expectant mothers last month.
    People definitely check me out to make sure I qualify. Yes folks, 3 y/0 + 8-9 months pregnant
    in Richmond, in the summer, with a car cart that has the worst turning radius
    ever qualifies me for use of the spot.

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