There are lots of times I do something that is gross, stupid, weird, or simply ill-advised. While maybe not the best of my choices, I chose them without shame. There are also lots of times someone else does something gross, weird or ill-advised to or near me, so I get to write about those, too. So there. Neener neener neener.
As a matter of fact…
… I did lock my children outside. They can come back in later.
… I did have wine for dinner. And Nutella for dessert.
… I used the dirty sock someone left in the bathroom to wipe up dust and hair off the bathroom floor. It was going in the wash, anyway.
… I scanned the t-shirt from our 6th grade musical and post it on Facebook so I could throw the shirt away. Then someone made me send it to her instead.
… I forgot my husband was going out of town for a week and made a huge crock pot full of his favorite pulled pork. Duh.
… I have a burn on my forearm from where I spilled the overly-hot contents of my taco. I know, but I was really hungry.
… I had to listen to Pumpkin Pie have a screaming fit because I wouldn’t let him wear a gas mask to Sports Camp.
… I also had to listen to Sweet Pea kavetch because I wouldn’t let him go to camp wearing the hollowed out shell of a soccer ball on his head. Not like a hat, like a mask. With eye holes cut in it, (because he’s smart) but no breathing holes (because he is not that smart).
… Doodle Dog came in from outside and barfed up a partially digested bird onto the carpet. Twice.
… I spilled most of a giant Gatoraide container of water in my trunk.
… I learned that an effective way to clog up a sink is for Pickles to fill it with water and soak and scrape a paper label off a plastic Bionicle container.
… I have had to call AAA twice for the new Ninja Van because we keep leaving things on while the car is off with the key in the ignition and drain the battery.
… I dyed an entire load of white laundry green because I forgot I had left the green bath rug in the washer to remind me to wash it. Awesome.